Great piece. It dovetails beautifully w/ last Sunday's reading from Matthew.

I quoted a bit of this in this post: http://maybethinking.blogspot.com/2008/11/lectionary.html

Thanks.

Zarah,

some of this stuff is not easy for me to bring up. in fact, i didn't sleep much last night partly because i was wondering how it was going to be received. vulnerability as gorgeous as it is can be awful scary :)

your comments are a real encouragement - thanks!

Shelly,

thanks so much for helping to keep the conversation going

Mark,

I worked in health & human services for United Way in the early '80s. Our Campaign folks worked hard to raise funds for so many people who faced similar issues we face today: homelessness, poverty, and mental health issues.

Corporate mergers of the '80s resulted in huge layoffs where too many people who had jobs faced downsizing, corporate restructuring and layoffs for the first time in their lives. Securing another job - to pay the bills, put food on the table pushed many folks over the edge.

Back then, losing a job due to no fault of your own was an absolutely devastating experience. People didn't change companies or positions like we have in the past 10+ years. Outsourced contracts and/or consulting engagements were not common business practice.

I remember walking past a San Francisco homeless person one day who was staring at the ground with one hand extended as I went into Carl’s Jr. in the Embarcaderos. I looked him in the eye and in that instant, it broke my heart. I was immediately overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness and shame this person was likely feeling.

It felt awful. I felt powerless, helpless and useless even though I could rationalize I was doing my part, working at a non profit that existed to help address these very needs. My contribution, in that moment, felt insignificant and inadequate.

I considered giving the man money but for whatever reason I went into Carl’s Jr., bought a meal, and brought it to this homeless man. I couldn't begin to know if money I might give would be used on a substance to numb the pain of an empty existence.  But I felt fairly certain that getting a hot meal could nourish the body . . . if not the soul.

I walked away a different person that day some 25 years ago. Today I intentionally look into the eyes of each homeless person I pass. I've come to learn it’s the most important gift I have to give -- whether or not I have money to share or use to buy a meal. Looking into someone's eyes validates that that person exists. They are real. They are a human being who deserves to be recognized and treated with dignity.

I've always been grateful for the skills and energies I’ve been blessed with. I’ve worked hard to NOT take my good fortune for granted because in my heart, I’ve known I could one day be that very person outside Carl’s Jr. with little hope if any. I too could be lost, alone, and broken.

Your share transported me back to that day. Today, having looked for a job for the past 8 months - though I not on the streets - I acknowledge I am financially strapped.  But as I traveled to SF yesterday to deliver hot meals with Salvation Army's Harbor Light program to those less fortunate who can only afford living in the Tenderloin's SROs – my perspective was altered. It changed as I came face to face with very real hopelessness, emptiness, and shame as each door opened. 

Instead of focusing solely on my situation, I felt blessed to be able to share a nutritious hot meal just because the Salvation Army continues to be committed to doing this very important work. God knows each person I met truly needed it and I’m pretty sure each of the 4,000 meals that were delivered in San Francisco alone was desperately needed and appreciated.

Afterward as I walked down the street, I wondered if my seemingly light presence, wishing each person a Happy Thanksgiving in some way came across as trite or disconnected.  I asked my volunteer partner if she thought the folks we met might feel that way. Thank God for the different perspective of another caring volunteer. I really questioned whether my small effort that day had made any difference to lift the spirit of another human being in desperate need.

Thank you for finding courage to risk, to be authentic Mark. Thank you for sharing your experience via your gift of writing to reveal a side of you that will always be present regardless of whether or not it’s verbalized. Your ‘street time’ forever changed the person you once were -- before you became homeless. You’ve become more compassionate, loving, and deeply committed to acknowledging real needs of real people, risking rejection to bring visibility and deeper understanding to needs of others.

Now, this is a gift to be thankful for! Thank you for risking and sharing what's near and dear to your heart. Happy Thanksgiving!

Kimberly

This really touched my heart. A few years ago my sister and I had the idea to start a foundation for the homless called "Shirt off my Back". We wanted to do this because we often give to the homless standing on the curb or buy a hot meal and a umbrella to protect them from the weather.  Men have the hardest time getting assistance, not to say that it is easy for women and children either.  A man in a fresh clean shrit and possibly a tie can be given the power and diginity to step out of the trenches with a bit of pride on his face and find his place once again the world. Most people say ahh that is a bumb...they are going to get drunk...Not everyone chose drugs or created the situation they are in. Maybe living a day in their shoes would require one to have a drink or two... Who knows...We are in no place to judge. However I will make that one of my goals in the upcoming year, I have been given the gift of seeing the most in others who cannot see it in themselves, I think I have failed to give it back to them.I will do better. God bless and thanks for sharing your story. Angela